What to Never Do
by ishha
Summary: What do you get when you combine a bored author, sugar, and a desire to write her first Maximum Ride story? Complete run-of-the-mill-ness thats what. First try writing Maximum Ride. One Shot. READ AND REVIEW LOVIES! Oh and by the way, rated T for cursing.


I felt the breeze ruffle some of my feathers as unpacked our picnic basket.

The cliffs really were beautiful, the sky a clear blue. Unblemished by any dark clouds, the sun proudly shone. The cliff grounds were covered in a deep emerald grass, with some sprinkles of wildflowers.

Ha, poetic aye? Truth is, don't except any of that crap *points to paragraph above* here, I'm Maximum Ride. Fuck no do I have the time to even bother with that, I'm kinda busy saving the world and stuff - incase you hadn't noticed.

Anyway, back to the present.

My mouth watered when the smell of food hit my nose.

"Mmmmm... Iggy what did you make today?" I said as I opened the tupperware that smelled so damn good.

"Oh nothing...just some chocolate chip cookies, barbeque ribs, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob and pink lemonade." he said off-handedly.

!OHMYGOD! THERE ARE COOKIES!

The next 10 seconds of me are too disgusting to even try to imagine so I'll just give you a one word description. **Pig**.

2 minuets later I was satisfactory rubbing my now full belly as I lay down on the grass. All of a sudden a dark shadow covered my view. "What the h- oh Fang." His face was a little too close for comfort.

"Uh, Fang, a little personal space please? And would it kill you to brush you teeth man? Your breath stinks!" His eyes darkened after that one. Ooooh, Big Bad Fang is angry! I'm sooo scared! Get real.

He stalked off in his oh so emo manner and left me alone with my little mind. At least... until Angel and Nudge decided to plop on either side of me.

"Hi Max, why are just laying here?Isn't it lonely? What are you thinking about? Actually, I should be asking Angel that since she's the mind reader here... Oh! Did you read that book, Twilight where there's that vampire, what's his name? Edmund or something? Yeah, I think its Edmund, anyway, what was I talking about again? Oh yeah, Edmund, well turns out that Edmund can read minds too! But he can't read the mind of this girl Belle, and he's in love with her, but he wants to drink her blood at the same time. Isn't that sad? Wasn't there a big play like that? Romeo and Juliet, where they both die at the end? " And there goes Nudge, with her mile- a minute mouth. I let her chatter fade to the background, she wouldn't be needing my response for a while anyway.

I saw that Angel had a worried look on her face so I turned to her and asked what was wrong. "Hmm? Oh no, nothing's wrong, I'm just thinking about something." Just like Fang... vague. I swear sometimes it made me want to tear my hair out. " And that something is?" I prodded her to continue. "Wether or not its going to rain" I looked up and loe behold, what was a clear blue sky was now a angry black cloud filled space. "Oh, best we get moving now unless we want to get caught in that." I snatched up everything I could hold while flying and took off.

* * *

Author part 1: You know maybe you should cut back on the late night sugar escapades.

Author part TWO: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHA!!! NEvvvar! *clutches chocolate protectively to chest* Mine, its ALL MINE!!!

Author 1: *scared backs away* Fine, fine, keep your chocolate... I'm just saying that maybe it wasn't such a good idea to write while you were sugar high...

Author 2: Are you saying you didn't like my story? *Eyes become impossibly big as her lower lip trembles* I thought it was good.... *starts tearing up*

Author 1: Gah! *turns to readers* Help ME! *Turns back to see that Author 1 has turned into a hormonal angry beast*

Author 2: RAWR! I WILL GET YOU!!!! *grabs Author 1 and stuffs her into a door that just randomly popped up* Author 1 and I will be back after a short break.

END

Author [the complete one]: *wakes up after sugar induced burnout, reads story.* HOLY CRAP WHAT DID I JUST WRITE?!?!?! Oh well, I'll post it anyway... Damn. I'm that bored...


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